New Mother Tips

Ditching Diapers – Potty Training Problems, Trends and Suggestions

While researching potty training, and the elimination of disposable diapers from a child’s life, the author has come across several recent trends. The most disturbing trend is that children have gone from being potty-trained at around 18 months on average in the 1960s, to taking, on average, 30 months today.  It appears that this is expanding.  Three years ago, Pampers introduced Size 7 diapers to the marketplace (something that no other manufacturer has followed), but a recent review of the Pampers.com website found that Pampers is now calling some of their largest diapers (disposable training pants and disposable underwear) “Size 8″.  Another alarming recent article, purportedly from the U.K. discussed how children were remaining in diapers until school age.  It went on to say, school teachers were changing children in Kindergarten.  This article blamed time constraints on the family, and that many day care workers were putting children into diapers while at their day care center for “convenience” reasons, which effectively undermined any of the potty-training efforts the parents had done.  I question the validity of this article (especially about children going to elementary school without being potty-trained), so there is no mention of a link to it, but its ramifications, as I prepare to bring triplets into this world, are profound.  Even if this article is not true, some of the issues, especially day cares undermining the consistency efforts of parents with potty training are probably issues that many parents of children in today’s busy world will face.

The average baby in the United States uses 3,500 diapers per year (roughly 9 diaper changes per day).  This is an average, and because of normal diaper changes, sizes, etc. the average baby uses many more diapers their first year, then their second and so forth.  However, if a child stays in diapers for just one extra year, that is at least an extra 68 per child (based on the average prices of size 5, 6 and 7 diapers at .40 / diaper).  As the future parent of triplets, this means that my costs, per year, escalate to well over 00.   Therefore, the economic incentives alone are well worth investing time and thoughts on the subject, even though my family is unborn.

There are many factors that point to why our children are remaining in diapers longer.   Some blame parents for lack of consistency and time.  Others say day cares and other help we have to reach out for to make ends meet undermine our potty-training efforts by putting children back in diapers for their own convenience.  Others blame physicians who recommend letting the child “choose” when to ditch diapers. 

The culprit probably lies somewhere within and as a combination of most of these suggestions.  However, one of the most obvious factors that others are not discussing is that of children using disposable training pants that look, feel and protect like a diaper.  An example, as a child, the author’s brother was eight years younger than he was, and he still remembers his brother going through potty training.   At the time, training pants were entirely cloth, and resembled very thick underwear, and accidents were obvious, messy for everyone and created clear discomfort for the child.  After several accidents, the author’s brother was potty-trained quickly, but the clean-up and the extra work surrounding using underwear as training pants put a strain on the mother, and the potty-training process started and stopped repeatedly for several months.  Soon after the author’s brother was potty-trained, Huggies introduced Pull-Ups. 

Pull-Ups provided a great advantage for the parent, and for the child.  They still looked, felt-like and resembled underwear, but they contained accidents much better, resulting in less time.  This was also when diapers were generally a solid color, were plastic-backed, had tapes on them (instead of Velcro).  Pull-ups on the other hand felt like cloth, had cartoon characters on them, and the child pulled them up, instead of the parent putting the child in them.  Soon after though, diapers changed and they started making them with a cloth-like cover, Velcro tapes, and featured cartoonish designs.  The problem with this, in the author’s opinion, is that these improvements in the diaper removed the advantage for the child – that of wearing “big boy” pants.  The only real difference between diapers and disposable training pants (as far as the author can tell) is that the child pulls them up, even though they look, feel and protect like a diaper.  Another problem with this was the release of “convertible style” diapers which are no longer available for sale.  These diapers were pulled up (supposedly by the parent), and this left little distinction, if any, between the supposedly special training pant, and the diaper.  The diaper companies soon stopped making these diapers, but for them to put this type of diaper into the marketplace, knowing that they are identical to pull-ups in almost every aspect seems like flawed logic.  Are they deliberately trying to keep our children in diapers longer?   Probably, its good business, they sell more products, but fully fleshing this argument removes the blameworthiness from the parent, and puts it on an intangible corporation, something that should not be encouraged.   Even if they are doing this deliberately, it is up to the parent to take matters into their own hands.  If these products did not sell, the company would stop making them, if we keep buying them, then they have every incentive to keep producing it.  

The point with this diatribe is essentially that if you are going to try and get your child to use the potty, introducing pants to wear instead of diapers, that look, feel and do the same job as diapers – are just diapers to the child and the child sees no difference.  If you are motivating your child to get out of diapers, why then would you put them in something that is nearly identical?  

The convenience of disposable underwear is a huge bonus, but the problem still exists for the child – they are still wearing diapers, even though they are being told they are not.  Unfortunately, this might be a large contributing factor to why children have such difficulties with potty training now.   Couple this with the frantic schedule everyone leads, which diminishes the time available to be consistent with a child, and it is easy to see why it might take longer to potty train a kid. 

As for the author’s children, well, unless something changes, we will try to put them in cloth, traditional training pants.  There will be messes, but putting them back in diapers, regardless of how many times we tell them they are not “diapers” does not seem like it will achieve the desired results.  A key problem with this exists though, and if day care workers are undermining potty training efforts with pull-ups, then how will they act when a child has an accident in underwear?  At least we would have a chance with a pull-up though.  Unfortunately, I do not have the answers at this point, but I know what I will try to do in the future.  We have two years before we jump off this bridge, but with triplets, my personal goal is to eliminate diapers, and the massive expense that goes along with this as soon as possible.   Maybe we will just take a week off from work and try one of those potty-training boot camps, but from what I know, potty-training is a long, difficult process, where consistency is the paramount key.  Switching from diapers, and maintaining a diaper-free existence for the child should achieve success…   I hope.

Question by Steena: How many months should a newborn be before he/she can go on a flight?
I’m planning to bring my newborn to another country to visit the father of my child.
I’m still pregnant though and my due date is just a week ahead.
Application for passports for infants is just a one-week process and I’m planning to buy a ticket immediately once I got the passport.
How many months old should a newborn be before he/she can go on a flight?
What should I expect or be aware of in flights with newborns?

Best answer:

Answer by tunisianbelle
As long as your child has had a check-up with the doctor and everything is fine, your child will be safe to fly almost immediately after birth. Most airlines require that a baby be at least 7 days old, unless you have a medical certificate. I have seen children as young as 1 day old fly. You should call the airline you plan to fly with to see what their policy is because it can vary from airline to airline.

I’ve been flying internationally and domestically with my children since they were 2 months (now 8&5). At least three trips a year are the children and I traveling internationally (14+ hours each way) alone. In addition to that, we do another 8-10 international and domestic flights a year as a family. I have never had any problems with my children on any of the flights. Here are a few tips and suggestions:

1.) You will need to have all your baby’s documents in order. It is a good idea to keep a copy of his/her notarized birth certificate with you.

You mentioned that you will need a passport for your child, so that means this will be an international trip. You will also have to look into whether or not your child will need a visa and if there are any required vaccinations for the country you plan to travel to.

Keep your doctors name and number with you. Also get the name and number of a doctor where you are visiting in case an emergency should come up.

Another thing you should consider bringing with you is your childs immunization book. That way if any emergency should arise while you are on vacation (no matter where you are) the treating physician will at least have some verifiable information to go on. This book also usually includes what your child is allergic to, and some small but very helpful notes from your doctor.

Verify what travel documents you will need in advance to make sure you have everything.

2.) A car seat is not mandatory, but is highly recommended. Since your child is under two, you are allowed to hold him/her as a lap child, meaning that he/she will have to sit in your lap the entire time. The Flight Attendants should place you in a front seat where you will have more room. Depending on space and availability, the Flight Attendants might give you a bassinet that attaches to the front wall to put your child in (however you can not uses this during taxi, take-offs, landings, or turbulence).

This is not the safest way for a child to fly and the airlines recommend children to have their own seat with a child safety device.

I do advise using a CRS (Child Restraint System) because it is safe for the child – especially during turbulence, makes them feel secure, is more comfortable for both parent and child, will help your child sleep, and gives both of you the opportunity to relax a bit.

A CRS is a hard-backed child or infant or child safety seat that is approved by the government for use in both motor vehicles and aircraft.

In order to be certified for use on an airplane, the car seat has to met the Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standards. Check the labels on the side of your car restraint for a sticker (words will be printed in red) for verification that your seat is safe for airplane use. Almost all car seats pass this requirement. Here is a picture of what the sticker looks like: http://jamiehassen79.angelfire.com/flying_children_pics/FMVSS.jpg

Many airlines offer half-price tickets so parents can be guaranteed that their child can travel in a CRS device. You should call your airline to ask for a discount and/or ask what the airline’s policy is for using empty seats.

3.) You can take a stroller and gate check it. It will not count towards your checked luggage. This means that you will be able to use it all the way up until the time that you board, and one of the handlers will take it from you at your departure gate, tag it, and put it in a special compartment for you. When you exit the plane, it will be waiting for you at the door as well.

There are many products out there designed to help the traveling family. Here’s a product that can attach to most car seats so that you can use it as a stroller and get it through the airport more easily. http://www.gogobabyz.com/products/gogo_kids.html

4.) Make sure you have a check-up with your doctor before leaving to make sure your child is healthy enough to fly. If your child has even a slight cold, the pressure in his/her ears during take-off and landing (even if you do the precaution methods) could leave his/her ears aching for days after the flight.

Most doctors recommend that if anyone is sick (such as being stuffed up or already having an earache), not to take the flight because of the potential damage to the ears. I know my husband and other pilots do not work if they are sick because of this danger.

Not all children have a problem with the pressure changes in their ears. If yours does however you’ll want to know how to help. For take-offs and landings (the WHOLE way up, and starting from the BEGINNING, or TOP of descent), the best ways to alleviate ear pressure are to:

*If your child is nursing, nurse him/her.
*Give him/her something to drink (formula, milk, water, juice – it doesn’t matter)
* Give him/her a pacifier to suck on
* Place hot damp towels (usually like the ones distributed to first and business class before take-off and landing to freshen up with – just ask a flight attendant for them) or paper towels that have been soaked in hot water and wrung out, at the bottom of two paper or styrofoam cups, then hold the cups over the ears
* Gently but with some pressure, rub his/her neck repeatedly from the chin to the base of the neck. This will cause a swallowing motion that will relieve pressure build-up in the ears.

You can also try using a decongestant. It is always best to check with your doctor before using any type of medications though, to make sure you are using the one best suited to your childs needs. I personally have found pain relief medications don’t really help, and at least in my experience, decongestants are a waste of money.

5.) As long as your child is with you, you are able to take as much formula, breast milk, or regular milk that you will need for you child for the duration of the time you will spend in the airport and on the flight (as long as it is within reason).And no, you will NOT have to taste it – no matter what form you bring it in.

All that you must do is:

1. Separate the milk from the liquids, gels, and aerosols in your quart-size (1 liter) zip-top bag.
2. Declare you have the items to one of the Security Officers at the security checkpoint.
3. Present these items for additional inspection once reaching the X-ray. These items are subject to additional screening. http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/children/formula.shtm

New regulations also allow you to take beverages (including water) from home as long as they are less than 3oz (100ml), -OR- beverages (including water) of any size that you have purchased from inside the security area onto planes. You can also bring a limited amount of baby food, yogurt, cheese, puddings, etc. with you also as long as they are in containers less than 3oz (100ml).

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm#9

Save your money when it comes to buying water though because the Flight Attendants will provide you with hot or cold water (or any other drink) free at any time that you request, no matter how many times you request it.

6.) Keep your diaper bag well stocked with plenty of diapers, wipes, ointments and other essential things. Just remember the new law regulating liquids, gels, and such and pack accordingly. http://www.tsa.gov/311/index.shtm You can usually find travel size baby products in stores and they are wonderful for plane use. One thing I always like to carry with me is hand sanitizer! I always wipe the trays down with that (followed by a baby wipe) and use it for my kids after taking them to the bathroom (even though they wash their hands). I know that airplane bathrooms are not the cleanest, so that is why I try to e vigilant.

Be sure to pack 2-3 changes of clothes for your child. You will need this in case he/she gets sick, spills something on him/herself, or in case your luggage gets lost.

Bring any medications that you might need for your child should he/she get sick or that he/she takes regularly. Remember that if they are not prescription medications, the 3oz (100ml) rule applies to them and they must be kept in a clear plastic bag. http://www.tsa.gov/311/index.shtm

Do NOT give your child medicine with the hopes of it making him/her sleep. This is not only cruel, but dangerous as well.

You should be respectful of other passengers and always change your child’s diaper in the restroom. They do have diaper bed changers in there, although they can be a little small. Usually the bathrooms with the diapers beds are the handicap ones (they usually tend to be toward the rear of the plane), so they tend to be a little bit bigger and it does help.

I also know some people who say that instead of using the changing table, they say to put the toilet seat down, use the toilet as a seat for yourself, and lay the baby across your knee to change their diaper.

To make it easier on yourself, make sure that you undress your baby so that he/she has just a diaper on while at your seat. Grab your diaper, wipes, and ointment or baby powder (whatever you use for changing your childs diaper) and head to the bathroom. This will help to make the procedure faster and easier.

Try to change your childs diaper as close to boarding as possible. This will help to make you baby feel fresh and more comfortable for take-off (which could also mean less problems).

7.) Make sure to pack one or two comfort things such as a favorite blankie or stuffed animal. I always bring a small pillow and blanket from home for my children (even now) because I know 100% that they are clean, and my children are accustomed to them.

8.) Don’t worry about what the other passengers are going to think or say should your baby cry. This will only add stress, which your child can pick up on, and it could make him/her cry longer and harder. Instead, just relax, and handle the situation like you would if you were at home. Most times the other passengers are very understanding anyways and some will even try to help you. Which reminds me, if help is offered to you, TAKE it!

I wrote a small article about flying with children that goes more in-depth, gives airport security rules and regulations, plus offers tips and tricks for the travel, etc. http://www.angelfire.com/jamiehassen79/flying_children.html

If I can be of any more help or assistance, please feel free to contact me.

Add your own answer in the comments!