completely furious at friend with sick problem..what to do?
Question by NotsoObliiiiiiii: completely furious at friend with sick problem..what to do?
I have been friends…well more aquaintances…with this girl I used to attend church with. We are both 19. Back when she was 14 she showed me an ultrasound claiming she was pregnant, but the name was conveniently cut off the top. I knew she lied, but I let it go. She claimed she miscarried at 20 weeks and only had “spotting”. I knew that was a lie. But I let it go. Now she has gone too far!!! She said she was pregnant, at first I didnt believe her. Then I saw her, months later, and her belly was huge! I only touched it briefly, and it was rock hard. So I offered to help throw her a shower, but my own family had a last minute crisis so I had to shift the responsibility over to someone else and I felt bad so i bought her tons of baby stuff. Luckily I hadnt given it to her yet! Her due date was February 23rd. A week before that she disconnected her phone and cut off contact from me, her parents, and everyone at church. I had never seen an ultrasound, neither had her parents, we just assumed because her tummy was big she was pregnatn and also she’s now married and we couldnt figure how she could fake it and her hubby not know it. Well I just heard from her mom, who says she suddenly showed up and claimed she “lost the baby” at 40 weeks but gave no details. Funny thing, she has no upcoming doctors appointments, and when I asked about funeral arrangements her mom said she’d heard nothing about it. If the baby died two weeks ago…and no funeral…huh…dont suppose she faked it? But, suddenly, some of the stuff she got at her baby shower has “dissapeared” and she cant find it. I think she has a major psychological problem and she needs help. But I’m angry because its bad enough to fake a miscarriage, but to fake a whole pregnancy? A whole baby? Now I wont swear on my life she faked it, but I’m pretty sure. She never called her mom at the hospital, and shes very close to her mom. She just shows up two weeks later, with a VERY flat stomach, and has “lost the baby”.
What should I do? She now wants attention and sympathy from me, and while I would NEVER confront her to her face on the off chance I’m wrong, I refuse to indulge her sick problem. Btw, that miscariage she had way back, was not the only one she claimed to have. Shes been trying to get pregnant on purpose since she was 13 and claims to have miscarried 5 times.
Advice please? My SIL is in the hospital in premature labor with my nephew and we’re not sure if he’s gonna be ok, so while I’m praying deeply for my nephew who is only at 32 weeks gestation and is having problems, my “friend” is pulling some sick shit and it is more than upsetting.
Best answer:
Answer by alliana devenna
You could pull and ultimatum and maybe tell her that you will be there to support her and be there to help her get over the baby, but only if she agrees to help herself and get some therapy (for the loss of the baby) or speaks to a pastor. This way, if she’s lying you can simply tell her no without being guilty, because you can’t fix her problems for her (it’s unfair for someone to ask you to), you could tell her that too, that you can’t possibly fix her problems, but you will help her help herself. This encourages her to help herself, whether she’s a liar or really miscarried. Try to keep her at arms length, and try not to let her get involved in the drama more than you can handle.
Otherwise you could confront her, which will probably turn out badly no matter which way you look at it (although sometimes that’s just what is needed).
Best of luck!
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Tags: completely, Friend, furious, problem..what, sick
